Sunday, January 20, 2008
birthday over.nothing much to say.niva and zana surprised me in the morning.denesh joined us for breakfast.and i guess after the movie that's when things just went downhill.after zana and niva left as well the bithday stopped being a birthday.i was happy no doubt.but not that kind of happy where i felt high and excited and my heart couldn't stop beating fast.not the happy where i felt tingly all over.well i guess as you grow older birthdays just don't matter anymore.being 2o feels no different.really.i am still as crushed as ever.still as broken as ever.still am the same as ever.
today is sunday.the 20th of Jan 2008.so at about 4+pm logita sms-es me.about her friend.about her friend who just passed away in an accident.the friend who was there for her when something happened to her best friend.the friend who came down to the hospital at 3+ in the morning becuase he didn't want her to feel scared and alone and panicked in the hospital.the friend who came down even though he was high.well basically her friend.her very very good friend.
i don't know what to say.i am in a state of shock,disbelief.i don't know what else.the blows she has been dealing with,i cannot just sit here and watch her go through shit like that.i cannot believe that i just met that guy about a week ago and thought to myself 'ok fair enough i would give him a chnce just because i can see that he and his friends do care for her'.i cannot believe that i met him just one week ago and now this guy doesn't exist anymore.i mean he isn't anything to me.just my cousin's friend.but he's no more.i cannot even imagine how logita is feeling.i want to go down but i don't know if i will have the strength for her.
'friday only i fed him you know' that's what logita messaged me.imagine the pain she is going through.God i have said my prayer.now i don't know.i really don't anymore.i have a feeling i am going to cry again tonight.
i'm at a loss for words once again.
i //young of the butterfly// you 4:35 PM