Thursday, March 31, 2005
im so lost..all i wana do is juz go back to IJ..where EVERYBODY was friendly..i wana see the whole clique together again..n i want it to be lyk tt forever..juz lyk tt..i juz wana be wid jo mel clare pinks jolene..evrybody..i cant think straight anymore..mistakes after mistakes..i duno whr in my life these mistakes are gona stop..i duno..i feel so lost..i juz want my frens back again..evryday after sch i come back n do nothing but cry..y?cuz i hate my class..i juz wana go back to IJ..
i //young of the butterfly// you 4:49 PM
Saturday, March 26, 2005
LADIES...
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
GUYS...
Find a girl who calls you baby instead of hot or sexy,
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back,
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
who doesn't care what you look like,
but what's inside counts the most,
Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,
Wants to be with you in public, even ifyou wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always,
Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,
who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back.
Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always"
awwwwwwwwwwwww....so sweet..i duno y i put tt up but yea..i think its nice..really nice..anyways..will be going to church tmw..hais..hope i dun feel awkward again..lyk i always do..hais..so shit la..but i promised chris so i hafta go..
a lot of shit happened yest..cuz of my mum..ughs..cant believe wad she did n tried to do..im hurt..cried myself to slp..hais..n cuz of her i cldnt go over to zana hse..was shit la..yest was juz a VERY bad day for me..
i //young of the butterfly// you 8:01 PM
Friday, March 25, 2005
another day in CJ today..hais..well it was ok..much better..but this time but sadly it will be the last day wid our IG..n on mon we will be in our classes..sad sad sad..cuz i hafta make new frens ALL over again...hais..smth i hate doing..am alrdy comfy wid my frens..so ya..anyways we played this caterpillar game..tt was quite ok la..i was lyk in between this guy called Rom n Darrell..then Rom was leading us..n he was so crappy..cuz he wanted to lead us uner the monkey bar..then while they were deciphering the code he was giving me some codes to decipher..n so he gave one to me i looked at it n tol him 'i heard u singing it'..i laughed..n wen sarah asked i made the action tt he was crazy..n he was lyk 'i saw tt'..haha..but he is damn funny la..n then he gave me another code...whoa.crazy..haha..but was ok la..then we were also telling each othr lotsa jokes..haha..was funny..then sarah was telling all this IJ jokes..haha..the lame n lame n dirty..haha..then we also played sailong or smth pronounced lyk tt..wadever its called.tt was fun..haha..both grps won oso la..but then the third time wen we played,thr were lyk 6 girls in the 4th row..so wen this guy got pass evrybody he came to us n was lyk begging us to let him pass thru..then as a final resort he said 'do u girls want me to touch u'..then i stared at him then we both burst out laughing..so crappy..haha..but ya la ok..not so bad..then after tt we got our orientation package..then we r going senstosa on tues i think..hais..dun really wana go out of sch..but i guess we got no choice..n i hate the PE shorts too..tried it on..a bit toooooo tight..i dun lyk it..actually i lyk IJ's shorts..they r so comfy..hmph..i really hope i get into the same class as JO..i wld love to be wid her mans..hais..so sad..im juz hoping thr wil be some familiar face thr la..hais..
anyways been thinking abt fran lately..i duno wad to say abt her la..i feel tt we've totally lost the connection la..i mean i feel tt she smehow makes use of us..its really shit la..i duno..u kno im vyr surprised tt she still hasnt intro us to her bf yet..i mean arent we her frens..wen we went out wid clare n victor[clare sorry to bring tis up]..clare intro us to him..she din lyk keep him away or anything..n also tt day wen clare asked me to go back wid her n victor im sure she wld haf intro me then n not lyk keep both of us apart or anything..its juz so crappy u kno..the other day wen i went to sch wid fran she totally din tok to him at all n din even intro us..ok its not lyk im so eager to meet him or anything but at least intro us la i mean am i not ur fren after all?..to me its lyk she is keeping her frens away frm him..lyk shielding him frm us..y?..not lyk we want him..hello???we r frens u kno..not bf stealers..im juz vyr shocked..n to me fran's quite a gd fren n all..cuz i went to sch wid her n all last yr..i kinda felt close to her but now no more..n also i think its her parent influence..how they dun approve all this indian girls n all..i think it got to her also la..i juz feel lyk shit cuz i dun wana be saying crap abt her..but to me tis is wad is happening..seriously..i feel sad,hurt,angry n evrything else..cuz i cant believe tt she is doing this..if i had tol her to intro us to him i think the first thot tt wld haf popped into her mind wld haf been 'oh no..they might be into him too'..i wldnt be surprised if she thot tt way..n also today she was supposed to go back wid him..n then he realised he had band so she cldnt go hme alone n she tol clare n me to wait for her..gd enuff we did..she came wid anothr guy n left him alone..wad wld the guy haf thot?..one gd fine fucking day she shld jolly well fucking learn how to go hme HERSELF..cuz its pissing me off..i mean she uses us to go hme wid wen her bf isnt ard..but once he is 'no im going hme wid him''..wadever k..wadever..juz get lost n go hme wid him evryday k..so annoying..she juz cant go hme herself..according to her she'll die..omg..pls..ive gone hme alone came to sch alone..do the same also ok?..my goodness..wen clare called her a hopeless romantic i juz burst out laughing..cuz its so fucking tru..to me she isnt mature enuff for a r/s yet..its juz so hopeless..aiya..i kno if i voiced tis out to anybody they'd juz say 'oh ur jealous' or 'get a bf also la'..i duno..but this is wad i feel la..i juz hope fran finds sme proper frens..let it not be an indian cuz tt indian person can never be gd..i hope she finds smeone proper la..as in a fren..sorry for being sucha bitch but i juz had to express my feelings smewhr..
i still duno wad CCA im gona join..i think i will prolly join ICS..but i heard abt the politics..hais..duno la..im gona be the only new piece of shit who joins ICS..n i dun wana go thru any shit ice breakers or orientations..fuck la..
these days i think ive been using the f-word way too much..n now its lyk a normal word for me alrdy..i need a new swear/curse word..fuck is boring..fuck..see thrs no kick in using it..
ooh mel..yeas i received jo's letter..thanks for the warning cuz if i had not checked the letterbox immeadiately after i read ur tag i think my mum wld haf taken the letter n never give it to me..well i cried too..hais hais..i duno wad to say..my emotions are choking me..i got one thing to say n tt is i really really love u JO..muahs**a vry special one for u..
i //young of the butterfly// you 2:27 PM
Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg;
isotopesmay vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urbanareas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for unknown cause
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by that.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known toman.
TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a betterspecimen.
POTENTIAL HAZARD
illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.!!
WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.BE CAUTIOUS!
so fucking cool..wonder who wrote this..(:(:(:(:(:(:(:
i //young of the butterfly// you 12:10 AM
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
TAG REPLIES AT THE END OF ENTRY
sch today..in CJ not IJ anymore..was quite ok la..not vry or anything juz ok..cuz they made us carry our bags evrywhr we go n also they made us play games in the sun..feel so hot n sticky..haven showered yet..y?..i was watching SOC n i fell aslp all the way till5..omg so stupid of me..now i hope i can slp in the night..gotta wake up early for sch tmw morn again..at 6 la this time not so bad..hais.. omg n i saw edrea n audris...was sooooooooooooooooooooo happy..haha...im currently waiting for audris to call me..cuz she said she is gona call in the night..so yeas..waiting waiting..n edrea omg i was so happy to see her..my PE kaki..(:(:..haha..duno whether we'll be having PE togethr or not but still we'll find time together..haha..its juz sucha relief to see more familiar faces..
thrs this thing nagging me..its been nagging n nagging..its thr..juz thr..i cant avoid it at all..but i dun wana state wad its all abt..but its the main reason y i hate new surroundings..
anyways CJ pe..haha..man its sooo no joke k..i duno how im gona manage..i hope i run n run n run till i lose lyk 5 kg or smth...it'll be vry vry gd for me..n im gona start my crunches n squats evryday..n mayb i shld think abt green tea too..hmmmmmm...chris says it works..it better..im alrdy desperate to lose weight..yikes..i hate tis issue..so fucked up..
n CJ uni..man i hope i dun get the strict lady..lata she measure the skirt at my waist..i so cant wear it at my waist..n i want a big blouse..might get a few blouses wid only 2skirts or smth..duno la..mum's gona kill me cuz i need to get so much stuff..
-uni
-shoes
-bag
-pencil case
-socks
-books
my mum's gona kill me..lyk tt how am i supposed to ask for my hp?..evrytime i tok abt the hp i feel lyk crying..fuck it..duno y it happened to me..prolly in 2wks time the hp gotta go back to my bro so i wun haf a hp anymore..back to living in the stone age..fuck me..
anyways yea..made a few frens today..i felt pretty left out in my IG..but then i saw sarah so we started toking n stuff so yea not so bad..but its juz tt nagging thing i guess ttz stopping me frm making frens n them frm making frens wid them..does it make sense?...no nvm..tis is only for me to understand...
yipin: i pity u big time man..i think for us orientation is only ending lyk nxt wed or thurs or smth..n then on fri we haf this celebration thingie for the j2s to welcome us into the family..so cool..haha..but i juz want tis whole orientation thing to end..i hate orientations..haha..got phobia of making frens..
mel: haha the whole gang of IJ is thr..but most changed cuz thr r GUYS ard..u kno wad i mean?..disgusting la..but u kno wad??...me jo clare pinks n ahma are ALL separated into diff IGs..[index grps]..n it sux..then we r all also gona be separated into different classes cuz of the diff combis..me n jo might not be separated but ya thrs still a chance..so i duno how..anyway first day was ok la..not so bad not so gd either..
i //young of the butterfly// you 6:00 PM
Sunday, March 20, 2005
hais she has started her usual nonsense again..i duno wads gona happen anymore..i juz hope n pray tt wen sch starts the stuff at sch will distract me frm my family..i dun wana be involved in anymore shit ttz going on here..my mum hasnt spoken to me n i dun wish to start speaking to her again..the talk wid ash really brought up a lot of the shit memories n hurt feelings i went thru thruout sec2 n 4..it sucked big time..n im going thru it again..im not tt strong really to bear tis kinda hurt..im not a strong person as i thot i was..wen it comes to family im a real sucker..i wana harden myself to all this..but i juz cant..i dun haf the willpower to do it..im juz weak..
hais got so much stuff on my mind..sch n family esp..i think i kno y ive been feeling so low..i haven seen mr muthu in a long time..n i kno tt if i meet him i will be ok for awhile..i really need him to sustain my sanity/happiness/evrything else seriously..i will be visiting him on tues n mayb wed after sch..i will need to go thr to relief my stress...hais..n my hp..i feel so lost..it was really my only contact wid the outside world..ughs..i hate evrybody..evrytime i think abt the bloody hp i juz start crying..man y did it even happen to me?..if id juz gone along wid my gut feeling tt day i wld haf got it back..but no..i juz din check the cab tt day..stupid me..hais..n thr were sooooooo many memories in the fone..birthday wishes,Vday wishes,o level results wishes..juz memorable msgs frm ppl i love so much..i dun understand y it happened..really..i mean quite a few bad things happened..n now if i find out tt i din get posted to CJ i will die..really..i duno wad i will do..i will prolly become mad..hais..im so scared tt smth bad is gona happen to me..i juz haf this feeling tt im not spared yet..a series of unfortunate events..oh fuck it..im such an ass..mourning over the loss of my hp..
i dun want wed to come..i really haf no idea y im feeling so scared..i juz duno..n im hoping n praying tt ash will appeal n tt she gets it..im gona pray n pray..peeps reading my blog PLEASE pray tt she appeals n gets it..at least if she comes it wun be so bad..hais..only thing jay wun be thr..it sux.all 3 of us r gona be separated..so fast..hais..im really in depression..if tis continues i might as well be admitted to IMH..
i //young of the butterfly// you 10:16 PM
Saturday, March 19, 2005
sch's starting n im worried..very very worried..i mean i din expect it to start so fast...hais..i hate it man..n lyk i juz lost my hp...im gona juz be in depression forever since im not gona get another one..arghs..its sucha damn bad time for sch to start k..totally..hais..i feel so sad n depressed now even worst..
had a nice looooooooooong talk wid ash yest..missed her so damn much..talked abt quite a lot of things..haha..was quite fun n depressin..n she says she can make a movie outta my life n she thinks can write a LIT book..haha..yea yea try tt ash..we'll see how u manage wen u actually hate lit..haha..
hais..i juz dread the bloody thot of going back to sch..most of my frens arent gona be thr..oh fuck..i juz hate the feeling..jay's gona be smewhr else..so is ash..n mel..n priya doing her Os..lene also not gona be thr..omg sux so much..i hate it..i juz wana be wid my frens n sumore im sure lyk all the ppl in CJ alrdy haf their cliques n stuff..n most of them are gona stay..im gona be a complete extra thr man..
im such an idiot..UGHS!..im so angry................god..im a loser.......shi shit shit..
i //young of the butterfly// you 4:32 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
im in depression..im also in deep shit..hais..i duno wad to feel..whether to laugh or cry..i lost my hp..n i think at the same time i lost myself..seriously now i duno wad to do..at all..i really dun..i haven toked to my mum for3days..i juz wana run away frm hme..im feeling totally lyk shit..im a real mess..mayb wad zana said is true i am in depression..i juz duno wad im doing..i juz dun anymore..
totally lost..
i //young of the butterfly// you 7:48 PM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
tis wk was GREAT..it was so freaking fun.n guess wad it was lyk being in IJ all over again..i was juz so happy to see mel,jo,clare together again for once...lyk after the long hols n all..i missed all of them so much..i miss evrything..i think nxt wk we r gona organise a slpover n we r gona crap till late into the night..honestly i juz cant wait..i really spend time wid all of them again..mel's gona be going poly n im gona miss her soooooooo much..hais..4 yrs wid her u kno guess im vry vry close to her alrdy..n i juz cant bear the thought of having another sitting partner..it was so fun wid her..i mean i cld crap,cry,laugh,joke...practically do evrything wid her in class..i juz cant bear the thot of having another sitting partner othr than her..mel im gona miss u..hais..im really really sad mans..i juz hope we never ever lsoe touch...our clique..also saw pinks yest..evrytime i se pinks tis familiar rush of emtions come back to me..i guess thr was a pnt in my life whr pinks was kinda my erm role model.. she was lyk thr for me..her letters so thoughtful,deep n encouraging..n she was my GURLFREN..i miss her to bits also..haven gone out or toked to her properly in a long time..i feel lyk crying..i miss IJ so much...so terribly..evryone says going to CJ will be gd cuz its juz lyk the IJ atmosphere..but to me i think id rather haf my frens wid me..i really want us to stay together..im BAD at making frens n moreover im vry vry judgemental..i really hate tt abt myself cuz lyk tt i dun giv anybody a chance..ughs..i hate tt..i dun wana go CJ n haf no frens..hais fran n me r as gd as over..cuz of her bf n all tt shit..hais..ive been quite snappy towards her so yea..i duno wad to say la..n nives she's got her frens..n i mean her saying tt our 4yrs of frenship wun be thrown away juz lyk tt..smehow i juz cant believe tt..smemore she is prolly gona haf a bf soon..so yea.im gona be left all alone..hopefully nothing happens to jo..hais..
i guess i hold the clique really close to my heart cuz they've taught me sooooooooooooooooooooo much since the time i've been in IJ..really a lot..n ive been thru a lot wid them..ive shared stuff wid all of them also..they r juz vry vry dear to me..n the thot of us splitting up is juz so hurtful..ive been thinking abt since the wk before we collected our results..i was juz feeling so down..n the nxt wk cuz of PMS even more worse..i was really so sad..i love each n evry one of them clique members..in their own way they r all so damn special to me..all this brings back memories..happy,sad,precious...i juz feel so sad..i really wana go back to IJ..n i regret being in IJ only for 4yrs..cuz i learnt sooooo much in this 4yrs..so much..i miss evrything..i do..so much..
i //young of the butterfly// you 1:21 PM
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
had a beautiful thanksgiving mass today..i hope in two yrs time i will go back to IJ to giv a testi on how it has changed my life also..hais..i juz love IJ so much..miss evrybody n evrything.esp all the frens..in one way or another each n evryone of them haf actually played a part in my life..shoutouts at the bottom..
had two FREAKING fun day in a row.haha..
MON
haha..im a wimp/twit/coward..n evrything..haha..i can skate but i juz dun dare to skate far away frm the railing/barrier thingie..actually i juz got a fear of falling..haha..stupid me..but clare was lyk pro..she was skating n smsing..WOW!!..haha..but i wana go again..tis time mayb in a bigger grp..wid mel n jay mayb..four of us..then skate for as long as we want..will be so fun..haha..hais hais..thr was this guy who cld skate so wel..n he was pissing me off big time man..he cld do the scraping/chipping the ice thingie wen he breaks ..so cool..then thr was cute girl wid a cute costume taking lessons...evrybody young child thr juz looked cute..haha..then after ice skating we went BK n ate lunch..then met garce n went hme..toking abt our gd fren as usual..
TUES
i MISS IJ..i LOVE IJ..i LOVE mrs alex..i LOVE mrs low..i LOVE miss chow..i LOVE EVERYTHIGN abt IJ..esp my dear frens whom im gona miss so damn much..esp lene n grace..hais..im so sad la..teared during the mass n all but i din cry cry..i guess i was juz too tired..nvm..im sure we will all keep in touch no matter wad n how..we will meet each othr as often as possible..am gona miss everything thr..i juz love IJ so much..hais hais..
MEL: my dear bestie..girl i miss u so much..sitting beside u in class toking a lot of crap..teasing evrybody..gossiping abt joyce..i really miss it loads.u'll be going poly n me JC prolly..i will miss u girl..loads..but we still must keep in touch..love ya babe..
JOSIE: josie darling..haha my othr bestie..we may haf lost touch but u kno wad i still love u LOADS n HEAPS..haha ur sucha fun person to be with..really hyper n sweet..im sure u never fail to ease a tense mood..haha..we'll be ending up in CJ prolly doing the same combi..haha..c u thr babe..love ya..
JOLENE: gurleigh..i miss u so much..i really do..i miss all those letters.i regret not riting them faster..but girl u promised me a letter..u did..n i will be expecting one soon..we will be going to diff JCs n we might not meet as often..come to think of it we din meet AT ALL..idiot..haha..but anyways girl ur letters are really really precious to me..so keep them coming k..love u LOTS..
CLARE: omg..clare..wad do i say abt u?..i juz love u lyk hell..haha..i miss u so much..no more going hme wid u ahma n grace..hais i miss it mans..but u kno wad we r gona end up in CJ so i juz hope tt we'll still be as close as ever..n lets go on more ice skating dates k..haha..then u can continue to see me make a fool out of myself..i love u so much girl..
GRACE: haha we r both retarded n shall stay tt way FOREVER N EVER..girl ur gona work so hard tt ur gona do sooooo well for ur Os n u will be ending up in CJ..i will see u thr k..n we are never gona lose touch never..u will always be my fren as i said FOREVER N EVER..love u..
i //young of the butterfly// you 8:03 PM
Sunday, March 06, 2005
haha..today..my dinner got cancelled..as usual..mum's plans are ALWAYS screwed up somehow..but mayb it'll be nxt wk then..duno la..
i went to watch lemony snicket today..wid cousins n bros n bro's fren..haha..its a nice movie..wldnt mind watching it again but on vcd tho..not theatre..realise tt i shldnt waste money..haha..anyways i wana watch hitch too..i was thinking mayb we cld all go n watch after thanksgiving mass..all of us..wld be fun..really..lyk the prev time me clare mel jo pinks n all went to watch cheaper by the dozen..haha..i remember squealing in the theatre wid clare cuz dean frm gilmore girls was in the movie..haha..mans n sme more hitch is damn funny la..imagine the noise we'll be making..sme more we'll prolly haf the whole theatre to ourselves..i really really wana go..really really..haha..must make plans wid evrybody..cant wait..
anyways i went to visit suse auntie tis morn..din tell anybody..i feel lyk shit u kno always havin to lie to my mum n go to suse auntie hse..i mean lyk i really feel loved n wanted thr but here its nothing..its so unloving n stuff..i really hate it u kno..anyways felt happy tt i saw her..she gave me a hug n then we juz crapped n crapped n all..n then she read my horoscope n stuff..haha..was damn fun..it said tt im born to be a lecturer..n jay's born to be a lawyer..smth we both wana be.. :)..it was funny..then me n jay also kept making fun of each othr..hahaha..so crappy man we both..hais...
i really hope in the future i can stop lying to my mum..n i mean lyk my mum is totally against me going thr n wen she finds out ive been going esp wen suse auntie is ard she will kill me or prolly not lemme go anywhere else again..i really dun want tt to happen at all..but i cant tell my mum cuz i kno for a fact she wun be happy AT ALL..n if she isnt gona be happy i wun be happy..hais..today suse auntie was toking abt having a gd r/s or rapport wid ur children..n its really true..suse builds a good firm r/s wid evrybody n cuz of tt we all confide in her..but my mum thinks she is juz being a busybody..same goes for radha aunty..my mum also thinks she is a busybody..i really detest my mum for tis u kno..cuz my aunties are the ones providing me wid the love n care i actually need frm a mother..its disgusting n horrible really..i feel sorry for both me n my mum smetimes..worst for me..it juz sux la..the whole feeling..i hate it wen my mum tells me tt my aunties are using me..i for one dun think so..but my mum juz isnt happy wen she sees me being so close to them..well yea im close to them cuz they are vry vry nice unlike my mum..she is juz so quick to look at ppl's faults [ttz whr i got it frm]..n my aunties arent lyk tt..they are patient..i really do tell them evrything..n i mean evrything frm crushes to family probs..even radha aunty tried giving my mum advice..but my mum called her a busybody..omg..she isnt one she is juz tryin to help the damn family la..im juz making myself more angry thinking abt it..n i had to tell the whole of suse auntie family to not tell my mum i came thr in the morn..fuck..it sux..i feel lyk crying now..it really hurts me..cuz i really do love my aunties a lot esp suse auntie n radha auntie..i mean they've always been thr for me..always..suse came for my RI thing even wen my mum din bother at all..she cldnt care less to come..but suse auntie put aside all her family duties,came wid me at lyk 5.45am,helped me wid my make up n evrybody else's make up,then stayed for the whole thing even tho she had to be alone..she was juz thr for me u kno..but my mum fuck man..whr was she??..n also for my results my mum juz smsed me gd luck..but suse auntie she called n she was so anoxious for me n all u kno..i was really feeling so shaky..i mean my auntie bothers more than my mum..n wen i decided to let my mum be the first to kno my results..my mum wasnt happy..but suse auntie was the one who was so elated n she was saying tt she was so proud of me..after tt i cried again..cuz she made me feel lyk id done well..n by giving me the hug today she really affirmed the fact tt she is proud of me..my mum is happy wid my results but she never tol me tt..never..i found out frm my cousins n aunties..i duno wad to do u kno really..n radha auntie.she is truly another angel..evrytime i stay over in chris's hse i always feel tt radha auntie isnt an auntie but actually a mother..she cares so much for me..making sure i eat well,sleep well..n all the minor things which im very very very touched by..really..n she ALWAYS makes it a pnt to come n tok to me also..she always toks..ALWAYS..n i feel lyk i can converse so freely wid her..chris also does the same thing n chris is radha auntie's daughter..lohitha also does the same thing n she is suse auntie's daughter..so y cant my mum tok to me also?..im really puzzled/confused/hurt by this u kno..really..i duno wad to feel at all..radha auntie has always been one person whom i can REALLY open up to cuz she listens..i tell her evrything abt my family..evrything abt sch,crusheds,family..evrything u kno..suse auntie its a bit diff cuz she always stands up for my mum saying i shldnt say such stuff cuz she is my mum..but still both of them are really really impt to me..i juz cant see y my mum cant understand me the same..i feel lyk shit now i really do..im juz gona start crying now..n i dun wana rite anymore..fuck it..really..
i //young of the butterfly// you 1:04 AM
Saturday, March 05, 2005
today was juz a slacking day for me n jay..i thot i was supposed to go out wid mum but mum say dun wan..so i sat at hme doing nothing..jay was supposed to haf tuition but lohitha cancelled so she was free..n chris was supposed to come but she din..hmph...but anyways me n jay watched tis show 'the way hm'..its a korean movie..n i thot it was real shit cuz the boy kept on lyk hurting his grandma...emotionally..but at the end of the movie he changes la..but he is still damn mean..stupid boy..
her dad is still saying a lot of shit abt me..am getting pretty pissed off..i mean wad did i ever do to him?..seriously its damn irritating..hais..duno whether i shld go n tok to her abt it or juz shut up..i dun want her to find out abt her father's true shit colours..piece of shit..
i bought the sally hansen thingie..natural nail growth activator..i hope it works..i hafta resort to tis kinda crap to make my nails grow..see la..bloody nails..so shit man..i juz hope it does..i juz REALLY so badly wana get a manicure n pedicure tis deepavali at least..hais hais..
was watching outback jack yest..i seriously think tis kinda shows are juz so DAMN embarassing..i mean u totally display ur WHOLE life to EVERYBODY..n these shows are aired in almost EVERY country..ughs..so sickening..i thot tt he was quite gd..but after watching a few ep i think he is sucha shit..i mean wid all the girls n all...ughs..i duno y they even wana go for this..its so embarrassing really..its best to keep ur life private man..feel so sorry for all of those in shows lyk the bachelor/bachelorrette..big fat obnoxious fiance..tis was the worst..the whole family almost fell apart..meet my folks..the guys are bastards in this n girls are sluts..so shitty..
i //young of the butterfly// you 12:59 AM
Friday, March 04, 2005
Hey guys im back wid a WHOLE new blogger..i decided to get a new one after seeing jay's..haha..
hehe..did i mention i got 14 for Os..im juz so damn glad..really..called practically evrybody..haha..but mum wasnt really happy..cld hear the anger in her voice..mr muthu also was quite disappointed...but suse auntie was super happy for me..n i was super happy after hearing her say she was so proud of me..haha..but im juz happy la..mum giving me a special dinner on the 12th..hais..juz hope jay jan chris will be able to make it..hais..
made a date wid clare to go ice skating on mon..i so cant wait..but i so duno wad to wear..haha..n im gona make a fool outta myself..cuz im sucha nut..i duno how to skate/blade..haha..nvm..clare knows..she'll teach me..I LOVE CLARE..
was PMS-ing terribly for the past wk..thank God i got my period..am much better now..but getting lotsa cravings..for ice cream, chocolates, briyani, mangoes n mangosteens, marshmallows...crap man..i hafta stay away frm all this evil..
i applied for CJ as first choice..really duno whether im gona get it tho..quite scared tt i wun..i juz hope n pray so hard tt i get it..me n clare in the same sch again...i will be so happy man..fran duno wad to say la..we've distanced so ya..got no comments..dun wana say anything also..n priya also said she mite come thr cuz she needs an A level cert to go india..omg i swear i will be over the moon if she comes to CJ..im gona end wid this super duper happy thot..:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
i //young of the butterfly// you 11:06 PM
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i //young of the butterfly// you 10:51 PM