Sunday, July 09, 2006
u see right now im left all alone..so wad do i hafta do?..defend myself all by myself..which i am doing..n actually succeeding a bit..so in this past wk ive grown SLIGHTLY more independent..not fully independent yet but i will be reaching after many more successful attempts..
i haf finally let go of one..am not bothered anymore..which is vry good cuz bothering wld haf exhausted me alot..n as it is im alrdy exhausted by a lot of other shit..
well on fri we had our first PE lesson wid Mr Isaac Lim...n i almost died..firstly im TERRIFIED of insects/spider/any tiny thing tt crawls/flies...secondly im also VERY scared of the dark..NEVER EVER think of leaving me in a room with no light/windows...n thirdly i start to get claustrophobic wen im scared n in an enclosed place...so imagine my feelings wen half walking/half crawling the bloody fucking drain in sch for PE..thr were so many cobwebs stuck in my hair..my thighs were cramping...i was so fucking freaked out...then after tt we had to do sme othr shit stuff lyk push ups[in a position such tt we were lying over the drain?]..climbing a slope ourselves..n i think ttz abt it..so yea..used words tt ive never used n DISLIKE using..bloody dog..right after tt i went to shower..n i almost went hysterical in the toilet..cuz i DIDNT DARE touch the fucking cobwebs in my hair..MARIANNE MY GF THANK U SO MUCH FOR COMING TO MY RESCUE..she went to class to get my comb..n i combed them fucking cobwewbs out of my hair..n i was crying frm the time i stepped into the toilet till the time i shampooed my hair..sorry i kno im a freak but ttz how scared i am of those shitty things..n i DID see a dead spider drop frm my hair...so yea..well im so sorry tt everybody had to bear wid me but really i thank everybody who helped me frm the bottom of my heart..n ESPECIALLY marianne..THANKS MARIANNE..
driving on sat went pretty smoothly..tho i screwed up my slope...but i managed to do it e second time round..e 3rd time i went to the wrong lane but nonetheless i did it..othr than tt i did evrything well..i even used the 4th gear without him telling me..i felt MUCH MORE confident driving this time around..i duno y..ok maybe i kno y..its partly cuz i committed tis lesson to God..n it is by God's grace n mercy tt i did much better than prev times n din feel so scared..i cld do my right turns PROPERLY..i cld use the proper gears for different turns..so im giving me a pat on my back..n my instructor's being real nice..he says he's gona try combine lessons for me so i can save money..God bless his heart.. (: n ive alrdy completed HALF of my driving course..which means tt ive got the other HALF to go..n im gona do it...so hoepfully by next feb i'll be getting my damned license..YAY..
things tt made me smile tis week-jolene's letter-zana-compliments frm wonderful ppl (:-toking to CHITRA (: (: (: (: (: (:
i //young of the butterfly// you 11:24 PM