Tuesday, July 18, 2006
honestly dya think its my bloody fault tt i cant fcking slp at night..does anybody haf ANY idea how tired n exhausted my MIND n BODY are?...they're goddamn fcking tired..but evrytime i go to bed i CANT slp till lyk a few hrs lata..its no fcking joke ok..n im not joking abt it or wadsoever..i kno its bad..but i really cant help it..cuz i duno wad to do..or how to help myself..evrytime i try to slp i start to panic cuz i feel lyk i shld use tt time n study instead of slping..thrs lyk almost no time to study..im panicking big time..today in class im sorry i fell aslp during econs..but i swear i cldnt take it..my body was so bloody exhausted i dozed off..n my wonderful teacher wasnt at all happy wid me..i haf no rights to be pissed at her but i still am..i duno..to me she is NOONE to be commenting abt my slping patterns whatsoever...really i cant care less..but then again she is right..i need to start slping properly n treating my body well..but DO NOT ask me to slp more or slp early or BLAH BLAH BLAH!..cuz ive heard enuff of it..i FUCKING cant slp at night ok..i bloody cant..smeone asked me if it was the fear of slping...i cldnt ans tt ques..cuz i myself really duno the ans..if i fear slping then i shldnt be slping during the day or in classes..but i am..so maybe it aint fear..i juz duno wad it is...but DUN tok to me abt slping habits..really im alrdy feeling lyk shit nowadays..toking abt tt is only gona irritate,piss me off,hurt me further...
after all tis ranting ALL i feel lyk doing is juz crying so badly..to let evrything out..cuz im juz feeling too much again n feeling hurt for i duno wad..i really duno wad im feeling but i kno im finding for relief vry badly..
i //young of the butterfly// you 11:31 PM