Sunday, April 09, 2006
[edit] ONE TREE HILL IS ADDICTIVE I SWEAR [edit]
had a VERY long convo wid zana last night...its funny how i suddenly juz called her n then we talked juz abt EVERYTHING...going thru evrything in my mind now...quite funny...but glad tt i finally got sme things out...haha n i think i haf a higher chance of becoming a doctor[without cert] cuz of zana...she likes knows EVERYTHING...im sick n i tell her n she knows wads wrong...wow..quite amazing..or maybe its juz basic knowledge but then again im sure u all kno im pretty dumb..hehe..(:
its been 2 wks since i went for driving..im sure i forgot how to start the car n brake it..esp in 1st gear...so im kinda screwed..n im waiting for the fricking 21st to come ASAP cuz i NEED my PDL lyk soon..or not im gona be STUCK driving in the fricking circuit...
n dance competition again...scared as usual cuz before the actual comp i always feel lyk im gona screw it up...n besides tis time round its closer to mid yrs...dun wana be failing it..i WILL be getting a C or D for my econs tis time round...n i WILL do it...i duno how...but i smehow will..
im learning how to tie a tie..(: ...it makes me happy..i duno y...
been watching prabhu deva songs clips..n i realise dancing wid him is quite a feat..cuz u really hafta learn to dance smewad lyk him so the vid will turn out nice..n ive been watching one repeatedly n im quite amazed by the way they dance..its juz vry eye catching n awesome really..i duno wad it is..but sme vids are really good..
e more i think abt it e more i kno things arent gona change...i guess i gotta adapt n accept these things for wad they r...i am a vry complex person really...n its quite disgusting n irritating smetimes..im always at a loss...n tho i kno wad to do i think of the consequences n am bound by it [quoted frm smeone]....i guess in this situation all i can do is get over it asap n dun moan n groan abt it...juz try to see the good tt comes out of it all cuz thr must be sme good tt came out of it..im really trying...i guess smeday juz smeday it will be ok cuz i wld haf learnt to cope n live wid it..
i was juz thinking maybe i do believe tt a God exists..actually He does...but i juz kno tt He doesnt lyk me...call it childish/immature thinking on my part but really..nothing good has actually happened to me..but then again i realise He has blessed me wid othr things..i kno for a fact tt when Man proposes God disposes...i always remember this n i kno tt things cant ALWAYS happen the way we want them to...maybe this has cause me to lose faith in God...i dun believe tt anything good will ever happen to me..anything good tt will make me feel good abt myself...nah...it wun..so far its juz downfall after downfall..i juz really try to pick myself up time after time..im ok n fine on the outside...but i think on the inside ive alrdy been broken too many times...n well i give up on putting on a mask n masquerading cuz ppl haf finally seen thru it..i never knew i was tt transparent...but i guess my emotions really show themselves on my face...
its ok if u cant follow..dun try..n dun bother abt me really..
i //young of the butterfly// you 4:16 PM