Monday, November 28, 2005
my mind isnt exactly in the right place rite now..cuz
1. i juz slapped my bro so hard for pissing me off at 2am.n yea the time now is 2am..
2. my relatives r still in india in a flooded place..n im NUMBER ONE worry wart...so im here since sat worrying abt them non stop..watching sun tv news n making myself even more worried.
3. im so not musically inclined i think...n maybe i juz cant sing..
todays msg was kinda good for me..in the sense tt it enlightened me a bit...its all in my diary..i believed wad the pastor said but i juz hope tt God lets it happen to me...ive always said this..i believe tt God can do evrything but He will never do anything to me...right now all i want most is to pass the supp paper n be promoted..thr r quite a few plans for nxt yr alrdy..CNY dance..Ruthra...which i might be a big part of [scary]...i mean we've got stuff decided..n i seem to play a major part in evrything...i feel lyk i dun wana be out of it...hais..i juz duno..im juz gona believe tt God will help me clear this...n He will pull me thru..n i loved today's worship songs...esp the 2nd one.. (:
n Priya's prom..it sucked tt i cldnt be thr..but its juz tt my mum always picks the wrong days to take leave..n she happened to take leave on tt day..n wanted to bring us out n stuff..so yea..i cldnt make it...n then i rem toking to Priya's mum abt my prom..u kno i wld say tt it was one of the few worst days of my life..the before part whr evryone was thr [chris zana vasan jan monan] was extremley fun...but after tt at the hotel i juz hated it..i felt lyk i was horribly dressed..i felt lyk i was wearing the wrong shoes..i felt lyk i had too much make up on..i felt lyk i was wearing the worst colour ever..i felt so....ugly??...i duno...it juz felt bad...n i knew how my mum kept saying tt i wldnt look nice on tt day...she refused to pay for anything or whatsoever..n its all thanks to chris tt i even decided to go in the end..n the worst part was tt my mum din even allow me to stayover..i was so pissed wid her..i had to pay my cab fare myself cuz she refused to put in a single cent...i will never forget this..well anyway im glad Priya had great fun...after all i still think its an impt occassion in any girl's life..n mine sucked..
carolling...im so not cut out for singing..im really scared abt this..i mean wid chris's choir i wasnt scared to do a voice check..but tt was erm..last yr or was it in sec 3?..oh wait in sec3...then i cld sing...now???...i duno...n its all in tamil..it scares me..i smehow think im gona screw up evrything...i dun wana be the only one who sings wrongly n screw things up..the whole listening to the intro..starting off at the right pitch...God im never ever gona get it..drama is fine..drama is me la..i can act if u want me to..i juz hope things go fine n i dun screw anything up...i tend to do tt a lot..but to be vry honest im excited abt the drama..juz scared for the recording thing...yea n had a drama prac without priya thr...actually on the whole it was ok...felt a bit out of place but othr than tt evrything was ok....
nxt wk a lot of ppl r disappearing...priya will be gone..jay is alrdy gone enjoying herself...my relatives r all stuck thr...i wish they wld juz come back..but i dun think they will until they've done whatever they wana do..which sux...cuz it makes me worried scared n super over paranoid..hais..duno la..im so gona sms sathesh tmw..dun care wad my mum says..n check if evrythings ok..
n im worried abt a lot of ppl...jay mel esp..mel im so sorry i haven got the time to call u..wen im hm i got so much of hsewrk to do..n besides ur in sch dun wana disturb u n stuff..n i was at church quite a few times last wk..came back a bit late din wana call n bug u...n jay im scared to tok to u..pls bring urself back wid LOTS more confidence pls...
i //young of the butterfly// you 2:10 AM