Tuesday, September 20, 2005
i wun be updating much i think..will be back after the fing promos..
anyways sunday's msg got me thinking abt all the bitterness i have in my heart..since the start of evrything ive juz been feeling bitter abt evrything..bitterness n anger aint gona get me nowhere i kno it..ive surrendered all these rtshps n frenships to God..ive alrdy tol God to pls take care of it..n i guess the signs will all be thr or maybe r thr alrdy n i juz need to do smth abt it..n this whole thing abt forgiving...its juz not ez wid all tt bitterness u haf in ur heart..esp someone like me...i juz dun wana forgive i guess cuz of my pride..it has alot to do wid it...n also partially cuz if i forgive those ppl i feel its an obligation on my part to be nice to them..which i dun wish to be...im juz making it so difficult for myself ttz all..
i have been trying my best to study but i juz cant...supplementary paper aint gona be ez so i shld forget abt taking it..after maths mock on mon felt so damn bloody discouraged...duno wad to do la...i juz want an A for maths ttz all..n i wana pass the othr 2 subs so tt i can get promoted..i dun wana fing retain..juz feeling scared ttz all..n bitch sng was lyk 'i hope u all fail'..omg..wtf did i ever DO to her man..i take down notes she not happy..nothing we ever do makes her happy..she shld juz rot in hell or smth..stupid lady..
anyways well juz wana say tis am not at all prepared for promos..maybe juz a lil bit...but not fully...am juz vry scared n freaked out..i need all the prayers i can gei cuz im studying evrything lyk now..n i seem to be a tad enlightened for econs..so God Bless me..
n
JAN if ur reading this im really sorry we cldnt do anything for ur bday k..cuz i remembered u haf ur prelims n we din wana bug u...so we r pushing evrything to dec...maybe one of those days we'll go for a SUPER long lunch..juz us mr muthu's babies..kaes...so sorry girl..
i //young of the butterfly// you 10:10 PM