Friday, June 03, 2005
i feel lyk fuck today..zana's bday today..
i think wad set my mood off is tt today thr was supposed to be lit wid bitch sng but i got the timing mixed up n gave the class the wrong timing..n so lyk i think a few of us came at 9..n laureen wasnt helping at all..no she wasnt..u kno she is really nice but i think she is quite insensitive too..lyk she kept telling evrybody who came 'u kno we were here at 9 cuz we thot lit is at 9'..blah blah..n i felt lyk crap cuz i was the one who said 9 n evrybody followed..she wasnt helping..i felt lyk fuck..i was juz so mood off..felt really shitty cuz it was all my fault..almost cried...i mean im sorry tt i made u guys come early..im sorry tt i gave u guys the wrong timing..but i really really din mean to..i really din..i feel so stupid ok...im sorry..
n i feel lyk im losing touch wid evrybody..forget it la..lose touch lose touch i dun give two fucks anymore..
went back to IJ today to get cert n in hope tt i wld see mrs alex..didnt..i shld haf juz gone wid my instincts on wed..she was thr i think saw on edrea's blog tt she talked to her..n i thot i saw her car..shld haf juz gone on wed..
it's chris's bday tmw..i feel lyk crap cuz i cant do anything for her..am gona stay over lata..will prolly get a cupcake or smth lyk how she did for me tis yr..(:(:..tt was soooooo cute of her..my bday was a sad issue tis yr..super sad..but then again evry yr my bday is a sad issue..my mum never celebrates for me n tt is so not fair..i wana celebrate..ok fine im shutting up now..
monan's back..asked me to call him this morn n i did n wad was he doing??..no prizes for guessing..tt nut was slping..as usual..shldnt haf bothered..i disturbed his mum..damn horrible of me..haf a feeling i wun get to meet him this time again..unless he comes wid us tmw..n my hair feels so soft n nice now..no relevance but yea..
my mum..things still arent gd wid her..not at all..as in not between me n her but herself..she still not taking care of herself..i tried to help her ok..i tried but she aint helping herself so how will she be helped??..i dun care anymore la..all my aunties have done is called me n complained n advised n nagged...n i listened to them..i took their advice n toked to my mum but she din wana listen..she said i duno anything..yea mum i dun i duno anything..n u will never let me kno right..
i feel myself losing it n i dun think i can take all this anymore..i haven had a gd cry in a long time..n i think * din do it..
i //young of the butterfly// you 12:36 PM