ALL U NEED TO KNO IS
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17011988
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THE LOVED ONES

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THE RANTS AND THE RAVES


Flashbacks.

March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008

Friday, June 17, 2005

im supposed to get my period today..but i haven..n its alrdy 1831 hrs.....n if i tell my mum she will kill me..so shld i??

sent yipin off yest..n i cldnt cry..i teared..but i juz cldnt cry..n i haven had a gd cry in a long time....well right now i feel as if my only fren has left me....im feeling vry lost right now..i duno wad to do..hais..oh erm EDREA yipin cldnt bring the pillow to aussie..i think one of her family members will be going in sept..they'll bring it for her then k..well back to my post..i haf been distancing myself frm evrybody..im doing it on purpose..cuz im angry at evrybody for no reason..i oso duno y...n whoever's reading my entry wana get angry wid me get angry la..i dun care anymore..all this frens crap lasts only wen ur wid tt person lyk in the same sch, same tuition, same class or same smth la...lyk wad mr muthu says frens dun last..well now i believe him..man ive been going thru so much of shit during the hols..so much fucking responsibiilities..family..gosh..i feel lyk a grandmother now...i nag at my bros..i shout at them to do their hsewrk..see im becoming a grandmother..hais..i duno im lost...smehow i feel a bit better not telling ppl wad im going thru..its a better feeling..i duno..i thot of sooooo much yest but i juz din feel lyk blogging it down..oh by the way yipin is only returning nxt yr july..

me wanting to go to aussie..i kno for sure its cuz i wana run away..but i kno life will be better thr cuz i wun haf so much responsibilities lyk now..omg right now..im juz worried abt evrything..i am responsible for my bros my cousins..my mum n dad they r not in gd health..n im juz so damn worried abt them..if i go aussie i will be further n i wun be thinking of them constantly..n i dun care if i dun find frens thr cuz i think right now i can live w/o frens..i will only miss a few ppl..not all trust me on tt one..

im a mess right now..thrs juz so much of anger,hatred,confusion n evrything else in me..ive juz forgotten how to be happy..i felt really gd yest wen i went to meet yipin wid niva..i duno..for once i felt lyk my normal self..not LYK my normal self..but a bit lyk tt..

ok u kno right now i juz wana feel so angry but not do anything to let it out n then somehow let my brain juz explode or smth..or i wana juz blow up..or juz get hit by a lorry..or maybe an mrt..or a bus..or a fast moving vehicle..then let evrything in my body come out..the heart..the lungs..the brain..the intestine...actually i want evrything in my head to come out..not the body..then i duno my legs n arms in a weird position..am trying to picture the death i want..

i //young of the butterfly// you 6:31 PM