ALL U NEED TO KNO IS
SEXY BANANA (:
17011988
tall dark n drop dead gorgeous (:

THE LOVED ONES

chitra*
janani*
priya*

THE RANTS AND THE RAVES


Flashbacks.

March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

my bro..sucha piece of shit..took away the hp yest so secretively w/o telling me anything..thank God i noticed tt the hp wasnt on my bed so i went to confront him..n he was lyk 'i need it tmw'..fuck u asshole..i need it too ok..n if u wanted it u cld haf had the decency to ask me permission first rite.fuck..i made a hell lot of noise n then finally i juz snatched it away n put it in my pillowcase..so he wldnt take it..juz pissed me off lyk shit wen i was in a gd mood..fuck it man..

yest my mum was in one of her rare good moods..i kno y..cuz she has to pretend she's a good mother in front of all my frens n stuff..ughs..wadever man..n she wasnt happy abt coming cuz she din want to at all..luckily jo n sadia were wid me or i think i wld haf been damn put off..

anyways the ruthra thing IS on i think..i duno..but im in the fashion show n dancing..i duno..tis yr i feel thrs totally no kick in doing it at all..i mean lyk the ICS gang i dun even kno anybody..nives isnt in ICS..fran tt one dun need to say..then im lyk alone la..at least if durga was thr it wldnt be so bad..n now the ICS girls...grrrrr...man they SUCK!..only raenu n sangeetha r lyk the two nice ppl..anyways i gave raenu a name 'MY CHINESE LEARNING FREN'..she was really tt wen i was in pri 1 or 2..n i still remember her..but she din recognise me tho i did..but after i introduced myself n stuff she knew..mayb i shldnt haf said anything n let her kno only at the end of 2 yrs..haha..i wana be in tamil wid nives n fran..it sux la..y do we hafta be separated??..n im stuck wid vincent..UGHS..another annoying shit..the politics in ICS seriously sux k..it juz does..

i realise im alone in many things..my class,my tamil class,my CCA..i duno wad to do..isit a sign frm God?..maybe He's singling[is thr sucha word] me out for death..i suddenly feel so alone again..aiya i really duno wad to do anymore..wana take my life..ash was so sweet..she wrote me a card saying sme stuff la..not a big card or anything juz small..but i lyk carry it ard wid me evrywhr i go..cuz its juz so touching..i read it lyk evry morn n evry night..i juz miss evrybody..even tho evrybody is thr..i duno y but i juz miss jo so bad..i also miss mel so terribly..i miss pinks,clare,fran..evrybody..i duno y..n take note these ppl r in the same sch as me..u see..its been 4days since i saw clare[counting the wkend]..i rarely see fran n nives in sch..it sux k..it juz does..n lene..im still waiting for her letta cuz right now ttz the only thing tt can n will cheer me up..i juz wana go out n chill n relax..but i cant..im not letting myself do tt even..i practically flew hme today after sch ended at 12.30..did all my hsehold chores..n studied lyk mad..did maths for three hrs..read lect notes..read BraveNewWorld,revised my tuition maths,studied a bit of econs...wtf la?...im going mad..but mr muthu begs to differ..he says im maturing n thrfore self discipline n the want to study comes alongs wid it..shit shit shit..im turning into a sad case..n he says its ok..i wana cry..im in sucha terrible state now..i duno wad im doing..i can feel myself putting up barriers ard me so no one will ever kno the real me..i mean the whole studying thing..i really wana do well for my promos..lyk wad bro paul said i cant POSSIBLY consolidate 2yrs of wrk into the 3wks b4 As lyk wad i cld do for Os..hence the jump in my prelims results n Os..but its not lyk tt for As..its gotta be consistent..i wana get an A for maths n econs for my promos..lit im letting myself off the hook..cuz right now im not feeling too confident abt lit anymore..i need the teachers to give me more work again..wid mag low ard i felt confident but now no more..hais..evrything is juz wrong..wrong..really wrong..im really messed up..

went to t8 this morn..its a vry diff environment frm my class la..i was thinking if i was the first intake in CJ i wldnt haf been in t9 at all..but u kno wad??juz thinking abt it makes me feel WORSE..i shld get tt thot out of my head..had brk wid jo pinks n sadia..even then i cldnt feel happy..cuz i knew after tt id be alone again after tt..my class is really vry separated la..even the new girl,michelle, i think..said she felt vry left out..n can see tt no one is really making the effort to tok to her also..ttz how my class is..mr muthu n my mum were telling me not to giv a damn abt the class..juz stick wid them do whatever they do all tt shit..but make sure i study SO DAMN hard tt wen it comes to class tests n exams i'll beat them flat..ttz wen they will at least gimme sme respect..i dun even want tt...i dun want anything except my frens..i juz cant socialise wid them cuz its so difficult..really..im avoiding all class gatherings..cuz i dun wana go for the class gatherings n feel even more left out...hais..i duno..im juz really messed up rite now..really messed up..

i juz wish thr'd be smeone to help me take away all this pain or at least go thru this wid me.. juz smeone..


CHITZ
I LOVE IT WEN PPL CALL ME BABY..MY FREN STARTED THIS WHOLE BABY THING..ANYWAYS..THANK U SO MUCH FOR UR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT K..IT MEANS A LOT TO ME..I DUNO HOW LONG MORE I CAN TAKE ALL THIS REALLY I DUNO..BUT THANKS K..I REALLY DUNO WEN WE R FINALLY GONA GO OUT..BUT IF WE REALLY CANT THEN WE'LL MEET AT RUTHRA K..WE'LL TRY TO CATCH UP AS MUCH AS WE CAN AFTER TT..LOVE U LOTS BABE..MUAKS*

i //young of the butterfly// you 9:30 PM