Friday, April 29, 2005
din go for brkfast in the morn..was almost late for sch..haha..n monan also din call me at 8..he called at 10..haha..was toking to him then..wished i cld haf gone out for brkfast wid him n chris..darn..
sch was fine..had a heart to heart wid laureen today..duno y..but yea durin lunch we did..had maths/lit/GP..GP we did a stupid advertisement..ughs i had to act lyk i was cutting myself..so rubbish..promoting penknife for self mutilation..haha no wonder miss chok din lyk us..n bryan n james were the only 2 who wanted to buy our items..hehe..n lyk more than half the class wanted the rubber bands la...so crappy..but their grp was damn style..then ian's grp oso..4 colours..4 colours..4 colours..marianne whoa bimbotic man..but i think she was the only one who had guts to do it..hehe..n mine..me 'cutting' my hand..wrist..whatever..erm...nothing to say..stayed back for maths which was fun..haha wid bose n melvyn ard..damn crappy..walked out wid mel laureen n cephas..mel asked me to go for tt clubbing party thing..haha..nonsense..then i was telling him i dun feel safe going clubbing wid a bunch of guys..then he said its juz gona be a bunch of SJI guys they're harmless..im lyk yea n wen they get drunk they r still harmless right?..then he suddenly started making horny sounds n calling my name in a horny way then he said 'actually u need to be more careful of me'..yea melvyn..i need to stay away frm u..he's been eyeing my legs n skirt la the whole wk..freaky..sat at bus stop n toked to cephas..heard A LOT of stuff frm him..A LOT..at least now i kno y they hate the few ppl in our class..
am currently feeling VERY LOVED right now..haha..by edrea..so sweet of her to try make things A WHOLE LOT better for me..she wana come fight vanessa for me..ilu edrea..thank u..(=..so sweet of her..hais..dear frens..i miss all of them..she will be visiting me soon..will be looking forward to it aight?????..love u edrea..thank u so much..u really made my day..(=..
had brk wid NIVES today..was so happy..haha..but she was upset..poor girl..stuff to do wid CCA..saw sara today..n im officially known as 'HIGH WOMAN' to him..hmph..shucks no ICS on mon or not can play a fool wid him again..haha..
OMG OMG OMG..i HAFTA announce this k..on sun night at 9pm they're playing MAIN HOON NA on central..for those who are BOLLYWOOD lovers PLEASE watch the movie cuz u will LOVE it..n thrs one SUPER nice song too..beautiful colours evrything..OMG OMG OMG!!!...i CANT wait..
im trying to make them see reason..FUCK IT..they not listening..not at all..fucking shit..i will shut up..
EDITS
i think i kinda pissed the whole class off..but u kno wad??they will never understand..they never will till they've been thru this shit..i was trying to be nice n not get angry but i did..i did..im sorry i did ok..i juz quit the convo..n this time no one added me back..which was gd cuz i needed my damned space..even yest in the convo they din give a damn abt wad i was saying esp
him..i really think ur a COMPLETE asshole..shit it..i was pissed ok..totally..n today they refused to listen to wad i had to say..only yijie bothered to tok to me after tt..yea so i tol him..whatever it is..i DUN intend to make any fcking besties/close/gd frens in CJ..nopes i found them in IJ..n they will stay wid me..at least my true frens will..im juz gona let this 2yrs in CJ be a passing thing..not a memory tt i will wana keep for life..i dun see how my JC life can be gd at all..i kno God put me in tt class for a reason..i juz haven figured out the reason..i duno wen i will..but for now..i juz duno nothing..im really confused n in a mess right now..i juz wish all the ppl i loved were in CJ..ppl lyk yipin,mel,jolene..n also chris/monan...the two ppl i feel so comfy wid..ive juz been feeling lyk shit..monan gona call lata..he's gona hafta listen to my shit..i hope i dun brk down..or mayb i shld n let all those crap emtions out..i haven cried in a long time n i desperately need to..cuz i feel sucky..i kno the only way im gona let go of things is thru crying..n i need tt push..smeone to juz say smth to make me SNAP n cry..call me a crybaby a wetblanket..but its the only way i can cope wid my emtions..this class thing is lyk on my mind constantly..really..lyk wad mr muthu says i shldnt bother..but it is really difficult u kno..n he tol me to do well for all my tests..i fucking let him down by failing my econs..my studies is the only way i can show them tt im not anothr girl they can mess ard wid..show them who i am..i must put in the effort to really buck up for econs esp..understand wad they want..n give it to them..i dun wana mess up anymore..getting so low for my econs really brought me down a lot..n now thr r so many projects to do..GP not to mention my sucky grp..the leftovers as id lyk to put it..econs..the best grp by far..maths...omg..im dying k..im really dying..
i //young of the butterfly// you 8:11 PM