Thursday, April 28, 2005
duno y ive been feeling pretty down the whole day..i kno i met mel n all..yea happy abt tt..also bought my pencil case..smehow i cant help but feel sad tt this is smewad lyk the last time i will be meeting mel for the wk..hais..yest was freaking happy..the thought of meeting mel pulled me thru sch..then today the thought of meeting mel again pulled me thru..n tmw??..i dun think im gona be vry happy..class meeting up for breakfast..am not gona go..dun wana go..im suddenly feeling vry vry down..shit..it aint gd..
the class is juz pissing me off..maybe i am passing my judgement a bit too fast..im suddenly gona brk down..today's PE was juz shitty to the max..i duno y k..but evryone was juz being terrible..i felt so hurt..n wen nives came i was really gona brk down..omg i duno wad to do..i duno how to put my thoughts into words at all..but im juz gona brk down..feel lyk total crap..
sadia juz called me saying she has been nominated n ttshe saw monan today shaving his head at rilva's hse on the steps..get wad im saying??...im going out wid him soon again..i dun care..i wana meet him..
class conference on msn rite now..they din bother abt wad i said..they juz din reply..so i decided to shut up n they are bitching abt othr members of the class..fucking hell..n they r discussing wid each othr w/o including me..nvm..i will not let this affect me..crap..jo thanks for ur tag..abt me going thru politics earlier than the rest..hais..i wonder how im gona make it..i really duno..i was telling chris the othr day smehow ive come to terms wid the fact tt i am after all alone in my class tt i dun give a damn anymore but i thin i do..im a vry contradictory person..i really dun haf anybody wid me..i dun..not a single soul..n i think i hafta accept the fact tt its gona be this way for two yrs..i think i hafta accept the fact tt im gona be a loner for two yrs..
// my heart's at a low im so much to manage i think u shld kno tt ive been damaged
i //young of the butterfly// you 9:34 PM